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moonlight by ~soultown:iconsoultown:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


the moonlight falls
like little brown stones
whisked by goldfish tails
& sunless sails

whipped by nyctophobic winds
settle soft.

moon crests the hill
& curls sweetly
into an eyelidded embrace
& the last notes of the night
fall into nothingness.
©2006-2009 ~soultown
:iconsoultown:

Author's Comments

a tacky name, i know.


just practicing.

Daily Deviation

Given 2006-10-11

moonlight by =soultown is a simple scene-setting piece, but filled with vivid images. (Featured by `PoeticWar)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconskaplunk:
~SkaPlunk Oct 10, 2006, 11:05:14 PM
im the first favorite for this?! no way....

--
-This is it. What do we do now?
-Enjoy it.
[link]
:iconjon-law:
`Jon-Law Oct 11, 2006, 12:14:28 AM
Not bad, not bad. Good pick.

--
If I'm not writing, I'm just sitting here changing oxygen into carbon dioxide. Like a baby. A little shit and piss factory, maybe one day a man. Be a man today, motherfucker.
:iconramira:
~Ramira Oct 11, 2006, 2:49:38 AM
When skimming this, it makes no sense. When focusing on the meaning of the words, one gets a strong sense of cold night, rapid transition and warming dawn. Reader can potentially imagine pleasant harmony of subdued colours. The feeling I experience personally from this poem is similar to one I feel when going to bed once the birds start singing just before dawn, i.e. of sleep as one's surroundings awaken.
If this was your intention, congratulate yourself.
I generally enjoyed reading this poem.

--
[link]
:iconl0stwhispers:
~l0stwhispers Oct 11, 2006, 4:38:52 AM
This is lovely. I really like the imagery you incorporated into this poem. Cliche topic, but you managed to make it transform into something totally different. Nicely done! :clap: ^^

--
You don't know me.
So don't act like you do.
Don't ask me either,
'Cause I too don't have a clue.

... Evelyn ...
:icondreamhazer:
~DreamHazer Oct 11, 2006, 5:12:47 AM
I really liked this:
"moon crests the hill
& curls sweetly
into an eyelidded embrace"

Wonderfully said. I just love it. But I don't quite understand:
"& the last notes of the night
fall into nothingness."

I don't think that the silence you wrapped it up in really fits. I think it should be louder than whicsking fish tails and soft winds at this point, if the night is wrapping up. But, just a thought.
:iconfairynora101:
~Fairynora101 Oct 11, 2006, 6:29:00 AM
the imagery...amazing...:D
:iconchrishadow:
~Chrishadow Oct 11, 2006, 7:20:18 AM
I think I prefer to read it as lightly as it was written, without thinking much about it at all. :salute:

--
"...It's the sky that's the challenge
The sky that engulfs a sea of sound and echoes it back to us
Whole poems whole dictionaries, rolled up in a thunderclap
And every sunset an action painting, every cloud a book of shadows..."
-Lawrence Ferlinghetti
:iconsoultown:
~soultown Oct 11, 2006, 10:46:40 AM
:nod:

It was basically a very airy, light thought, which didn't take me long to get down on paper.

Thank you for your lovely comment! :)

--
Ribston Pippin'.
:iconsoultown:
~soultown Oct 11, 2006, 11:04:28 AM
I can't actually remember what frame of mind I was in when I wrote this, but I think the last part was along the lines of falling asleep. Plus the fade-out is not a bad way to end.

thank you for your lovely comment :)

--
Ribston Pippin'.
:iconsoultown:
~soultown Oct 11, 2006, 11:04:43 AM
Thanks! :)

--
Ribston Pippin'.
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